Interpersonal Relations

One of my classes is slowly becoming the one I look forward to the most. This class, taught by a charmingly odd professor who I have taken other classes with before, is entitled Interpersonal Relations.

In the first class, we were instructed to stand up, choose a partner we did not know and stand toe to toe with them. Then we were to conduct a normal conversation. You would never think so, but it was extremely disconcerting to stand that close to someone and try and speak to them.

Some people folded their arms across their chests in a protective gesture, while others kept their toes still but leaned their entire body backwards, away from the other person. I found myself avoiding eye contact with my partner, and was almost embarrassed if we did make eye contact.

After the experiment we all sat back down laughing, and began to discuss our reactions and relate them to the social and cultural influences of society. We agreed that we felt like there are only certain circumstances when it is comfortable to stand that close with someone else, usually when you are romantically involved. These days, we have learned to respect each others' "personal space." This notion is commonly accepted, but is not something that can be traced back to beginning in a particular era or time.

Some of the students in the class who are from Europe began to discuss how different it is back home. My roommate, who is from Spain and also happens to be in the class, told us about the Spanish custom of kissing someone new that you meet on both cheeks. She said that she likes this much more than a handshake, since a handshake is too formal and businesslike. Others agreed, but some Americans insisted that kissing people was just too much for them, especially at places like the gym, or with people that you have never met before.

Having had the experience of both the European idea of personal space and the American idea of it, I could judge both fairly and have come to think it is a cultural manifestation that had its beginnings in the classroom. In American classrooms, every student has their own desk most of the time -- their own space to do what they need to do. Things are sectioned off into cubbies and shelves for each student. In Europe, things are much more group-oriented. Closets and cubbies are organized, but not in the same way as in American classrooms. Instead, there are opportunities for students to put their things wherever it strikes them and it isn't such a priority. This lends itself to this idea of personal space that needs to be respected, and essentially the walls that we put up around outselves.

It was an intersting class and an interesting experiment, but it caused me to think about my own classroom and how I can influence concepts about personal space there in the future.